'Kristen' Is Blowing Up. What Are Youuu Doing?

Rappers could learn a thing or two from Eliot Spitzer’s hooker.

More than a week ago, Ashley Alexandra Dupre was just another random 22-year-old aspiring pop singer from Jersey, an average nobody with a dream. But this week, the world met “Kristen,” Dupre’s alter ego as a high-priced escort and now she's (in)famous. In a matter of moments, she has become pop culture’s woman of the moment. This may not have been the type of stardom she has been searching for, but for Dupre’s feature role in the dramatic downfall of disgraced former New York Gov. Spitzer, she has been thrust into the mainstream. And, as she is finding out no doubt, the mainstream is muddy.

"I just don’t want to be thought of as a monster," she told the New York Times.

Dupre has been subpoenaed to testify in a grand jury investigation and all the while, her myspace page is hotter than the red-hot Houston Rockets, generating 5,000 visitors a minute. Her song, "What We Want," has been played more than three million times and counting. It has been playing on Z100 and 103.5 KTU, according to recent comments on her page. She added another track, "Move Ya Body," to her Amie Street profile and apparently an album is supposed to be coming out May 5. She was already a video chick. Now they’re talking possible book deals, photo shoots. This is the type of free publicity that all you up and coming e-rappers can only dream of.

It must suck. All Dupre had to do was get caught up in some illegal Mayflower Hotel hook-up, a career-crushing romp with a high official and now she’s rich.

And where are you Lil So and So? What kind of publicity have you gotten lately? A few comments from friends in your rap group telling you “that joint was hot”? A download or two in a day? Some rapper somewhere right now is probably plotting some scandalous scheme to get Condi Rice to come out the pocket for a deep tissue massage. I mean I know you’ve got to be asking yourself: what does "Kristen" have that I don’t?

She grew up rough too, at least according to her myspace profile, where her motto is “what destroys me, strengthens me.”

"But my path has not been easy. When I was 17, I left home. It was my decision and I've never looked back. Left my hometown. Left a broken family. Left abuse. Left an older brother who had already split. Left and learned what it was like to have everything, and lose it, again and again."

Even though the LA Times wrote a piece questioning the authenticity of her origin story: "It's a tough image to reconcile with the wealthy surroundings of a childhood spent with her mother, older brother and stepfather, an oral surgeon. The white brick home in an upscale development near the Jersey Shore, is bordered with manicured shrubs and a wide, curved driveway. Large brass letters spell "PEACE" above the polished, auburn wood door."

But so what if she’s making stuff up. It doesn’t matter to you, Lil So and So does it? You’ve embellished your bootstraps tale too, haven’t you? You’ve peppered it with some choice Scarface clips too, didn’t you? You can’t be mad at her. It’s all in the game. Just another hustle, right? But then again, you’ve been hustling hard too and it only seems to get you negative attention or worse, none at all, as you get stuffed into the back seat of a squad car for trying to fill in the lies of your backstory.

Nowadays, anyone with computer access can make a myspace page and claim to be the next big thing. But of course you know that. You already have your own myspace profile and no, you don't have 7 million and some odd views but you're the real deal, remember? You're not an average nobody.

"Kristen" is not your competition. She is your false idol, proving America's creed once again that crime does pay. Big time. But when it's all said and done, you can rest assured that Dupre's album will most likely go nowhere. She already peaked.

Yes, rappers, you could learn from Eliot Spitzer's hooker. You could learn how to compromise your aspirations in music for money and poor publicity and court drama. You could learn how to capitalize on scandal. You could learn how to sink to new lows to come up.

But I wouldn't recommend it. The sacrifice isn't worth it. Just ask her. And, to be fair, Ashley Alexandra Dupre is no monster, but she is a beast. Dupre, like Spitzer, is a symptom of this system. And hip hop has nothing to do with that.

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P.S. I got an e-mail the other day from blogged.com telling me that they rated really real talk an 8.5 out of 10 in their entertainment/pop culture category.

We evaluated your blog based on the following criteria: Frequency of Updates, Relevance of Content, Site Design, and Writing Style. After carefully reviewing each of these criteria, your site was given its 8.5 score.

That's a good look.